maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My vagina is very pro this idea
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