I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
