i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
