I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
