just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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