You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
