Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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