If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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