u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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