I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
