i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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