Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize