Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
