shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize