I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
