how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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