Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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