I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
