Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
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Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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