I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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