Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
