I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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