I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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