i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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