She announced her abortion via fbk
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
