Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
