I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize