And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
