Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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