Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
