We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize