wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
