i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
