my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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