If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
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Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
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Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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