Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize