He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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