I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
