We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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