Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize