I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
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Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
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I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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