they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
