I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize