Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
