I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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