he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
