I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
