There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
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He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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