I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
