ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
