the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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