'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize