i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
