True but thats because hes a fetus.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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