How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
