I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
