Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
