There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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