Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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