so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
