I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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