I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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