I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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